(no subject)

[watching_you]

Veronica and Logan make their way to Veronica's apartment, after ...

After.

Veronica gets a feeling that that's how it's going to be, from now on. Always before and after. Her world nicely compartmentalized by this night, subdivided. She's not the same person that she was before.

Of the trip, all that she can remember are police lights and crowds and confusion, and Logan there, steady beside her. Maybe the drive is only a few minutes, or maybe it's a few hours. Veronica can't tell.

She feels empty.

Comments

[obligatoryass]

Before and after are always the defining terms.

Before and after Lilly. Before and after Lynn, before and after Aaron. Now, before and after Beaver.

No, before and after Cassidy.

Logan feels like he's been half carrying Veronica since they left the hotel. The other half sometimes felt like dragging, since her feet don't seem to move properly anymore. He half wishes she'd just let him carry her; she's certainly tiny enough.

They reach the door, and he pauses, waiting for keys.

[watching_you]

Veronica stares at him for a moment, not comprehending, until -

"Oh. Oh. Um."

She fumbles in her shoulder bag, frowning. Wallet, notebook, lipstick - taser - there. Keys.

"Sorry. Here."

[obligatoryass]

Logan suppresses a shudder and looks away from the taser. "Thanks," he says softly, and opens the door. "You want - I dunno, something to drink? Eat?"

It's lame, and he knows it, but his first instinct would be to get wildly drunk and suppress all pain. He's pretty sure Veronica wouldn't feel the same way, but he's also sure she'll never get any sleep at all if she doesn't take something to numb the pain.

[watching_you]

She shakes her head, but then shrugs.

"Just water, I guess."

Keith doesn't keep - didn't keep - much alcohol in the house, anyway.

[obligatoryass]

Logan nods, frowns. "You should, like, lay down," he says. Veronica looks like she might fall over at any minute, but he's not going to tell her that.

He moves into the kitchen, trying to remember where the cups were, and spies the radio. "Want some music? I think it's Thistle and Shamrock time."

Because what's more soothing than that?

[watching_you]

"I'm okay, really."

But to appease him, she grabs a seat at the counter, setting her bag to the side. He's looking too far to the left, in the wrong cupboard, so she gestures.

"Glasses are over there."

Logan's suggestion earns him a skeptical look, but at least it's better than the blank looks she's been giving him so far. "Sure. Why not."

[obligatoryass]

Logan smiles a very small smile at the sink, where she can't see, glad she's finally coming out of her daze. That was scary. He reaches for a glass and then switches on the radio. His mom used to turn on Fiona Richie's show before he went to sleep, and it knocked him right out when he was a little kid.

Before he can dial past whatever radio show he's got at the moment - knowing Keith, it's probably some version of moldy oldies - he hears an excited announcer saying in a flat So-Cal accent "And this just in - more strange events at the Neptune Grand!"

Logan moves to turn off the radio, but before he hits the switch, the voice says the magic words, and the glass slips out of his hand, shattering on the floor.

"Aaron Echolls was found dead in his room by an unidentified woman just a few minutes ago! It appears he was shot, but the sheriff's department will not comment..."

The voice is still talking, but Logan's not paying attention anymore. The shards of glass and puddle of water seem to suck up every ounce of brain power he has.

[watching_you]

"...What?"

Veronica nearly falls off her chair. It's not possible. It's not - how could it -?

She gets up and moves around the counter, and it's a good thing she's still wearing shoes because she doesn't bother to step around the broken glass as she pushes forwards to turn up the volume.

"...Investigators have closed off the room, and it appears that they will be closing the hotel down as well. In light of the series of events that has occurred here tonight, that's no longer surprising. We'll keep you up to date on these stories as they continue to unfold..."

Veronica turns to Logan, stunned. She has no idea how to react at all, let alone in front of him.

"...Wow."

[obligatoryass]

Logan doesn't know how to react, period. It's his dad they're talking about, after all.

But it's also the man he blames for all of the death and pain the women he loves best have suffered.

He just sort of sags against the countertop, stares at the puddle and wonders distantly if he should look for a broom. Someone could get hurt on a mess like that.

[watching_you]

Veronica turns off the radio, realizing that this may not be the best time to listen for details. She touches Logan lightly on the shoulder. "Hey. Maybe you should lie down."

[obligatoryass]

Logan suddenly returns to planet earth from...wherever he just was. He blinks at Veronica. "Um. Yeah."

Pause. "Only if you do the same."

Because though she looks slightly more with it than she had on the way home, she's still peaky and drawn. "We could both use it."

[watching_you]

The couch is surprisingly comforting, all things considered. Veronica had never liked it much before - it was cheap, and itchy, and occasaionally covered in dog hair on the days that Backup was feeling disobedient. But tonight, it'll do.

She leans against Logan, pulling her knees up.

"Thanks for -

(Saving my life)

"- everything. Really."

[obligatoryass]

"None needed," Logan says. "I -

owed you anyway

love you

don't like to think about the alternative

" - um. You're welcome."

Politeness wins, for once.

Logan wraps an arm around her, feeling the springs of the couch under the fabric, and knowing there's nowhere else he'd rather be right now.

[watching_you]

Funny how this feels so familiar.

Veronica's tired, weary. Her mind is buzzing but she's doing her best to ignore it - there are things she just can't think about right now.

Like whether she'll have to live with her mother. And whether she'll be able to go to college. And whether she'll be able to see Logan anymore -

She closes her eyes. It's too much to think about; she begins to cry again, but it's silent, just tears, and eventually she slips into dreaming.